Confronting her Fears.

The great thing about living where we were and leading the life that we did was that we never felt that we were getting stuck in a rut. Now, how unusual is that? We recognised that fact and it made us appreciate life in Australia all the more. For the first time in our lives we felt that we were keeping busy and doing things that we wanted to; or, at the very least, things that our finances permitted us to do. We both learnt to SCUBA dive and that meant a lot to us. It had always been something that I had wanted to do, but the money and opportunity had never co-incided. I would be somewhere in South East Asia where a course would be cheap and I would have the money and time and then I would go out schnorkeling. That would be a big mistake because I would get back to shore and think "Bugger that, I will keep the £100.00 and I will be able to stay here a week longer." And that was because the reef would be so accessible to a schnorkeler that it would seem a shame to waste the money to go just a few metres deeper. At last I got round to doing it.

Claudia was different. She had gone on a trial dive in Malaysia a few years earlier and had not enjoyed it. She had felt panicky and claustrophobic, but had always wanted to overcome her fears and experience the pleasures that the sport offers. We did our course with the biggest and most expensive school in the region figuring that they would have the highest standards and not be trying to cut costs/corners and rush someone through who may need a bit longer in the pool etc. That logic may not have been correct, but Claudia felt more secure looking at it that way. In the end it all went well and that was the main thing. Claudia was immense. We were 'buddys' right through the course and on a number of occasions I saw her fighting with her fears. Fighting claustrophobia is not an easy thing as anyone who has been there will know. She soldiered on and as far as all the others on the course was concerned, she was always part of the group that got everything right the first time and did not make mistakes. I know that this required a bigger combination of self-discipline, self-control, concentration and plain old guts than the rest of us needed together. Our first two Open Water dives were at Stradbroke Island under the most appaling weather and sea conditions. Visibility was not even two feet, there was powerful surge and the chop was so bad that everyone bobbed around sea-sick. The group divided up and went down with the instructor in pairs and Claudia and I were last. We did the drills and then swam a pattern, during which we all got tangled in fishing line and I was the only one who could move enough to cut us loose. It was very unpleasant for everyone, but for Claudia it must have been a nightmare scenario. We all consoled ourselves with the fact that we would never, ever dive in similar conditions again and had had the toughest possible testing. The rest of the course was a breeze after that.

It is humbling to watch someone grapple with something that only they can fight; to see the stress and pain it causes and then see them come through on top. She was very brave and I had huge respect for her whole attitude and approach. I wonder now if I ever showed it. Then again, being too effusive in my praise of anything she did would have won me short shrift. There was a fine line.